Boom. Siri, why am I still single? On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. How do you want me to be? If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. 9. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. The police? Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. I'm overqualified! Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. "Hey You, I'm really good. However, I dont recall anything about morons. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. 5. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. 17. Hi! Just look what happened there! Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. "Any day above ground is a good day. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. 66. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. This one kills me! 1. I agree, thanks for sharing. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. Thats why Im single. Do you really care? This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! 3. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". Moving in with Roommates? Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? He sold it to me on his deathbed. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Could have been worse, right. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." 7. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! My bad, its just your mouth. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? But half the time, it is a nightmare. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." "Alright. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. You a cop? Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. 4. There is plenty of room. You should really come with a warning label. Then you die. 25. 14. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . I think I am doing alright. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Its too small to be out there all alone. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Life is up to something. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? 91. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Feeling confident? You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. 35. Don Draper? 83. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Your email address will not be published. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! What's your sign? 22. 86. Finnish with this conversation! 84. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. I dont feel that great, but look! You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. 5. 7. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. via: Pexels / George Pak. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. You just live. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. (perfect for vegans). Could Be Better. Not so much. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. Better inside than outside. Socioeconomically? 67. 100. 31. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. It's Okay. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. You might just find one. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Stop joking! [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. My guardian angel be like 2. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. 41. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Then the worms eat you. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Because they are already taking their time. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. I will leave that up to your imagination. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Dave Barry (author). Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Oh, well 8. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. 3. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. Hey, whered you get that nose? Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Are you going to help me have a good day? 55. You were a young man when you last spoke. Hanging on. I plead the fifth. 82. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Not Bad. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. Don't Push It Too Far. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. - Anonymous. Your secrets are always safe with me. Hello, how are you? 92. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. The music billboard charts got it wrong! Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Financially? I cant even afford to feed myself! Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. funny response to are you still alive. Mentally? (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. 16. No, they're prison pants. 16. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: 94. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Going strong. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Another way to say Still Alive? What do you mean Im still single. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. But Ive also had better. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". 97. Not bad. 93. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Maybe you can Google it. 17. Follow for more funny content!! Were already married, remember?! Was that comment meant to offend me? 2. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. At minding my own business? I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Image: wikimedia commons 6. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Holy s**t, you can see me?! Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. 73. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. Youre a ground-hugger. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Brilliant! Hmmph. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Heart-shattering. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. 53. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. Alive Jokes. Yup, I dont share it. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! The following two tabs change content below. Physically? You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. (Use a sexy tone). This one is good. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. No, waitIm actually plural. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. Living the dream! No? (Explained). As for me, I cant even afford honey! original sound - Tyren Sams. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. 4. "I'm alright, mate". Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. 26. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. 90. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Physically? But, they will grow up into a dog. No, keep talking. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." 65. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? 9. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. 1. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. 75. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! Thats because Im still waiting for you. I'm happy! How are you? Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Did someone leave your cage open? 5. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. 6. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. I only fall in love with anime characters. I just woke up like that one day. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Oh, stop it, will you? This is a good response to throw out there. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. I'm alive! Im sorry I hurt your feelings. I'm afraid I can't do that. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Read more about Martin here. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. What? Me being single is just a conspiracy! Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. For more information, please see our He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company.